The Stairway to Heaven…

Action News, God To Know, Unverified

…initially designed by one Lord Jay Hova, has been used less and less over the times and is now about to be put out of use. With Heaven being intended as a place for only a few worthy ones, it has become over-populated over the times and hence won’t suffer any more new arrivals nowadays. Apart from that it has become obvious that the number of potential ascendants tends towards zero anyway.

The maintenance costs for the stairway have now become unbearable (since so many climb all the way up, only to be rejected at the gate and forced to descend again). This has lead to the imminent closure of the stairway (according to the Chairman of Edin Inc., Al Mighty I.).

To keep up with the ever increasing numbers of travelers going in the opposite direction, OTIS® (sponsored by an illustrious society with members such as S. Atan, Lu ‘the Snake’ Cifer, D. Ivill and T.H.E. Fallen-Won) now feverishly works on the blueprints for an ‘Escalator To Hell’ (ETH).

We will keep you updated on the progress as soon as our investigators return from their local research mission…

Val Hálla @ May 21, 2008