Microsoft to Abandon Windows Vista
Due to poor sales, marketing and, of course, design, our unreliable sources tell us that Microsoft will be officially abandoning Windows Vista, and encouraging all existing users to either upgrade to Windows XP or switch to Mac OS X.
This radical decision, which is due to be announced imminently, is expected to quell the fears of many consumers who were in need of computer upgrades, but who weren’t looking forward to to the loss of productivity caused by Vista’s poorly designed user interface and constant nagging for approval. Existing Vista users will be relieved to hear that they will be receiving a complimentary upgrade to either Windows XP Pro for consumers running either the Ultimate or Business editions, or XP Home for all others.
The recently released service pack 1 is to be the final major update to the operating system, as Microsoft will be ceasing all future development and focussing on trying to achieve a more user friendly, secure and less irritating user experience. Analysts predict, however, that since they are years behind the competition of Apple’s OS X, we should not anticipate major results any time soon.
It is believed that those most affected by this decision will include the many closet Vista users who, while refusing to publicly admit they use the now ill-fated operating system, secretly admire the way Vista elegantly combines a modern look and feel with performance and stability of Windows 95. Prominent closet Vista user Richard Stallman said he is now left contemplating whether to accept the XP upgrade or remain with Vista until the rumoured Windows 7 is released in a few years.
Lachlan Hunt @ March 20, 2008