China Plans to Replace the Great Wall
The Great Chinese government is rumoured to be forumlating plans to tear down the Great Wall of China. The structure, which was built and maintained over the past 2,500 years is estimated to cost the chinese billions of dollars in maintenance costs, yet many sections have still lost much integrity or been completely destroyed. In its current state, it is a costly, yet entirely ineffective measure to keep the Mongolians out.
Analysts predict that the wall will be replaced with a cheaper, more cost effective and durable Colourbond® Steel Fence. The Australian manufacturers are believed to have won the contract in a game of Texas Hold ‘em Poker.
To cover the costs of this renovation, the Great Chinese government have reportedly siphoned money from the Beijing Olympic Committee, who, as a result, have been forced to cut corners during the construction of many sporting venues.
Following the demolishment of the Great Wall, it is speculated that the reduced tourism to the over-populated nation will ease strains on the country’s public transport system which has, in recent years, been struggling to cope with the volume of passengers. This will allow for a reduction of bus and train services, and thus helping the lower the level of pollution.
Lachlan Hunt @ March 21, 2008
As just reported by our rumor hunters in China, the problem of both disposing of the old Great Wall and financing the New Wall is about to be solved after a divine revelation experienced by China’s Great Chairman Hu Jintao in a dream during one of his recent afternoon naps.
The initial plan was to use the stones of the Great Wall for building a triplet of pyramids in the Tibetan Plateau, thus compensating for the loss of the Great Wall and its impact on China’s cultural heritage.
The new plan is to sell a number of the stones - and even intact blocks of wall - to the Netherlands, who are desperately looking for a way to protect their country against the rising sea levels. Negotiations are progressing rather quickly and it is rumored that by the end of 2009 the entire coast of the Netherlands will be made safe for a rise in sea level of 5.70m.
The profit from this trade will allow China to completely fence in the entire nation and it has been calculated that there might be even an excess amount after completion, which would allow to even put a roof over the more delicate places - thus protecting them from the ever watchful eye of US satellites.
Very unreliable sources suggest that an East German communist underground organisation is interested in the remaining stones to rebuild the Berlin Wall.