Charles Frost @ March 27, 2008 # 2 Comments
We just got an anonymous mail from Klaus-Günther Schmidt informing us about the first arrest of a smiley abuser in the People’s Dictatorship Republic of Kyrchgäzstan.
(We included the mail header as indisputable proof)
From: kgschmidt@schmidt.kg
Subject: Top Secret! Krhgsgsjstan to introduce smiley abuser penalty
Date: March 27, 2008 7:09:41 PM GMT+01:00
To: [...]
Charles Frost @ March 27, 2008 # One Comment
Another ‘most-important’ subject has been brought to our attention today.
Re-lie able sources confirmed that ‘however’ is going to be permanently removed from all types (electronic and print) of dictionaries worldwide.
Already printed books, however, will have the corresponding lines removed retrospectively.
“This decision, however, has been made due to the extreme overuse on technology related weblogs and [...]
Lachlan Hunt @ March 21, 2008 # One Comment
The Great Chinese government is rumoured to be forumlating plans to tear down the Great Wall of China. The structure, which was built and maintained over the past 2,500 years is estimated to cost the chinese billions of dollars in maintenance costs, yet many sections have still lost much integrity or been completely destroyed. [...]
Lachlan Hunt @ March 21, 2008 # No Comment Yet
In response to rising fuel costs and fear of further terrorist attacks, our inept team of investigators speculate that airlines are planning to offer virtual flights as an alternative service for those fed up with actually reaching their destination.
To make this service as realistic as possible, passengers will experience everything they have come to expect [...]
Lachlan Hunt @ March 20, 2008 # No Comment Yet
Due to poor sales, marketing and, of course, design, our unreliable sources tell us that Microsoft will be officially abandoning Windows Vista, and encouraging all existing users to either upgrade to Windows XP or switch to Mac OS X.
This radical decision, which is due to be announced imminently, is expected to quell the fears of [...]
Charles Frost @ March 20, 2008 # One Comment
Virgin Atlantic has been researching the method of using douchebags in it’s fleet for quite some time now.
Douchebags will replace the current sick bags and Virgin has come to the conclusion that it will provide more comfort to the infrequent traveller.
Science reports have statistically shown that douchebags are capable of taking more crap than conventional [...]